happyt3hman Real Name:  Chris Age:  32 Resides:  Kamloops, British Columbia Occupation:  Student, Videographer

Favorite website(s):
boards.ign.com :  the IGN Community Board in particular. Unfortunately I am permanently banned, much uproar ensues. GO INTERNETS!!

Favorite book, movie, or TV show:
Bladerunner

Favorite game, application, or program of all time:
Photoshop

What are you playing and working on right now:
Editing a bunch of local dance studio recital videos... 40 mini-dv tapes left to go, ugh. Playing: Lumines on my PSP, and Warcraft 3 still, it’s still fun. Xplorers, a java game that is like the Settlers of Catan board game.

What is your current screensaver, background, or wallpaper:
Something from Mandolux.com’s dual monitor desktops.

What's so special about your computer (room):
I have a few computers, a few flat panel displays, and a bunch of IKEA office furniture. Throw in a boatload of camera equipment (digital and film)  and some audio gear and you have my messy basement office.

How many computers do you have:
A Dual 2.3 Powermac G5 which serves as my main computer, a 3.0 GHZ AlienWare Area 51 PC which sometimes encodes WMV content, I don’t even have it connected to the net. And a 15” aluminum Powerbook that gets lost in my basement sometimes. I haven’t used it much this summer, I take it to school for word and email, and my wife uses it for the same.

What was your first computer:
First home computer (parents owned it) was a TRS 80 from Radio Shack. My first computer that I ever bought was a K6/2 400.

Do you remember the first program you ran on it (or the first game you played):
Games = either Axis & Allies or Age of Empires. Programs = Winamp probably. Of course it had to be Internet Explorer or Netscape, but those are boring choices.

Geekiest moment of your life:
Probably attending a local sci-fi convention, being pulled aside and asked to ‘run’ a D&D game for the tournament and winning BEST DM prizes. Yeah, the glory... The day was mine.
 
When did you first realize you were a geek:
When I started reading Steve Jackson’s ‘Fighting Fantasy’ books, and I was the only person on the block who had parents that owned the shiny new Tandy 1000. GO LODERUNNER and DESKMATE!!!

Have you ever said anything geeky that someone else did not understand:
Everyday. I am surprised I still have a wonderful wife who is attractive and not ordered from Russia. She just nods and says, “That’s nice, honey...” whenever I get excited about stuff like leaked PSP firmware updates not yet available to NORTH AMERICA OH GOD I HAVE TO INSTALL IT NOW IT COMES WITH A WEB BROWSER!!1 Aside from that, I often say lame chat acronyms IRL. IE: “ROFL, you are such a NEWB at (insert activity here)” or “STFU, idiot” I need help.

What is the funniest/most bizarre computer/Internet/geeky experience you have ever had:
Worst experience was working with other computer ‘savvy’ individuals for high-speed internet tech support. Some of these folks lacked basic social skills/hygiene. It was sickening, one guy was sent home because he didn’t shower and was so smelly, a girl that worked near him had to go home sick to her stomach. It’s true.

What is your favourite quote:
“The day is mine!” - Sean Connery, or maybe not, but it is said in his voice.

If you were a computer program, you would be: why:
WINDOWS ME, it’s bloated, useless, and wait....

What do you do when you are (heaven forbid) not at your computer(s):
Try to remember how to skateboard, hang out with wife and kids, sleep, eat... Wonder when ‘dammitsteve’ will be posting on the IGN Community Board forums.

You have a time machine that can only be used once. If you use it you will not come back. What date would you set it to, and what ONE thing would you take with you (not a computer):
1984, I would go back with a garbage bag to put all those Fighting Fantasy novels in, and beat the hell out of myself.

Chris, whose answers were easier to translate into English because they were in English, invites you to visit his video blog: http://chriskoehn.blogspot.com Chris admits that he has no idea why, but people subscribe to the feed. Some people....

Chris, self deprecates his geekiness by saying he's fat, lazy, and knows too much about esoteric crap no one else cares about. Chris was once a Dungeon Master, but he can barely HACK his way out of weblink let alone code a webpage.

	Frank Real Name:  Frank Age:  Three Plus Three Resides:  Belgium Occupation:  Technician

Favorite website(s):
http://krusader.sourceforge.net

Favorite book, movie, or TV show:
The manpages and linux handbooks :-)
Star Wars, may the OpenSource force be with you ;-)

Favorite game, application, or program of all time:
Krusader, twin-panel filemanager for KDE.

What are you playing and working on right now:
Krusader documentation and promotion.

What is your current screensaver, background, or wallpaper:
The KDE default, most of the time i can't see the wallpaper because i have opened several applications ;)
I will use a Krusader wallpaper soon, artwork artists are creating them on http://kde-look.org.

What's so special about your computer (room):
TUX, GNU and GPL are inside my computer ;-)

How many computers do you have:
Three: Desktop, Laptop, Pocket.

What was your first computer:
http://www.old-computers.com/museum/computer.asp?c=198&st=1
The first computer that i touched was a Epson PX-8 laptop with CP/M os,
LCD display (8 lines of 80 characters :) and a micocassette.
If you want to change from spreadsheet to wordprocessor you had to change an eprom :)
http://www.old-computers.com/museum/computer.asp?c=98
Soon after that a Commodore C64 dit become my best friend for several years :-)

Do you remember the first program you ran on it (or the first game you played):
Calc a spreadsheet, and WordStar a word processor, on the Epson PX-8 laptop.

Geekiest moment of your life:
When i was about 14 years old i was almost hit by lightning stroke. I was about 3 meters from the lightning stroke. There was so many light that i could not see anything anymore except a very very bright yellow light for several seconds, i dit realise it was a lightning stroke but you can't do much at that moment :-) , i thought this how it looks when an atomic bomb explodes (just like in the movies) a few seconds later the thunder dit test my ears :-) Luckely i was not injured, i didn't have anything except that i was scared for a thunderstorm for about one year. Of cource it's always possible that my brain was altered by some energy particles ;-)
 
When did you first realize you were a geek:
When i was about 12 years old my friends dit play computer games, i was writing some applications in basic :-) Of cource i played some games to, but the progamming language dit fascinate me. I dit not know that it was called a geek, i dit only know that i was different than most of my friends :-)

Have you ever said anything geeky that someone else did not understand:
When I talk about Linux many friends don't understand anything about it because they are Window users or simply don't know anything about computers. Last week when I ordered a book, I did need to spell "Linux" and "Debian" so please write L I N U X and D E B I A N :-) It was the first time that they ever dit heard about Linux and Debian ...

What is the funniest/most bizarre computer/Internet/geeky experience you have ever had:

The first time when i saw a friend connecting to the internet via the dos commmand line, using archie
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archie_search_engine to search for some stuff.

When last year (2004) a technician came to my home to install the hardware for new internet connection and to configure my PC (the PC configuration was for free) , he dit panic when he saw Linux on my computer :-)
So i configured my Linux box myself to connect to the internet :-) Like i said, some people do know only Windows, i would be interested to learn something new, others do panic and freeze because they think it's to difficult to learn.

What is your favourite quote:
"If somebody else can do something, there is almost no reason why i can't do the same thing."
It's my own quote btw. :-) Of cource sometimes you need to spend a lot of energy and time to learn something new.

If you were a computer program, you would be: why:
The Krusader installation program ;-)

What do you do when you are (heaven forbid) not at your computer(s):
Enjoy real life (TM), family life, and trying to find the fasted rollercoaster that is in the neighbourhood :-)

You have a time machine that can only be used once. If you use it you will not come back. What date would you set it to, and what ONE thing would you take with you (not a computer):
1970 or something, i would put on as many as possible OpenSource code on tape so that i could change the past ;-)

Frank, who has played with computers since he was 12 years old, admits that "some people have difficulty to know me, but once i finally open my shell they're are apt to love me." Frank has some computer knowledge and he's a technical all-rounder, and he doesn't panic if he starts with something that he has never done before :-)

Frank says: If you like a Midnight Commnader or Total Commander or an other commander than
give Krusader a try, a twin panel-filemanager for KDE
http://krusader.sourceforge.net
http://krusader.org
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krusader
Krusader will work also on BSD, Gnome, AfterStep, XFce and other window managers apt-get resolves the KDElibs an QTlibs dependencies instantly. There is also a port to Mac OS X with fink, but you will need some computer experiance to compile and install KDE and Krusader.

	N/A Real Name:  Jeff Age:  24 Resides:  In a zoo, you'd think.  Namely, Riverside, CA Occupation:  Technical Reruiter.  I give other geeks jobs! Also, informal sys admin, webmaster, and helpdesk. Meh.

Favorite website(s):
toothpastefordinner.com, BBspot

Favorite book, movie, or TV show:
Family Guy is the funniest show ever.

Favorite game, application, or program of all time:
Half-Life 2, easy.

What are you playing and working on right now:
I have converted my ugly windows box into a beautiful MAC clone with Flyakite OS X, and I am building a gentoo box to confuse the hell out of my Win-bound coworkers.

What is your current screensaver, background, or wallpaper:
OS X Graphite and Flurry...on my Athlon 64 box.

What's so special about your computer room:
I eat, sleep, and live in it.  My computers run all day and night and lull me to sleep.

How many computers do you have:
I have a homebuilt Athlon 64 box, with a Radeon 9600xt 256MB, 1024MB DDR, and 0.5 TB of storage.  I also have a Compaq dual PII 400 workstation acting as a server, and an old PIII BSD box.  Those are just my working computers.  I have many many other parts that could someday live again.  I also consider all of the computers at work MINE.  Don't touch!!!  Stupid users.

What was your first computer:
Commodore Vic 20. 
First PC - DTK Data1000 286 16Mhz, 10MB Hdd, 5 1/4" floppy

Do you remember the first program you ran on it (or the first game you played):
10 PRINT "Jeff is cool"
20 GOTO 10

Geekiest moment of your life:
After my first Linux install. 

When did you first realize you were a geek:
When I smashed my first RC car with a hammer...not out of a destructive spirit, but out of a curious one.  No screwdrivers available, and I wanted it OPEN.

Have you ever said anything geeky that someone else did not understand:
Usually anytime I'm talking to my mother...

What is the funniest/most bizarre computer/Internet/geeky experience you have ever had:
I have been proposed to on multiple occasions.

What is your favourite quote:
"Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped."  -Elbert Hubbard (1856 - 1915)

If you were a computer program, you would be: why:
Gentoo Linux why:  Just looking to help, always open to anyone who wants me, but perhaps not as user friendly as some would like.  If something's not working, I'll tell you why, and I'm getting easier to deal with all the time.

What do you do when you are (heaven forbid) not at your computer(s):
Eat or sleep.

You have a time machine that can only be used once. If you use it you will not come back. What date would you set it to, and what ONE thing would you take with you (not a computer):
January 1st 1980, and I'd bring a firearm, to prevent my own birth.  Just to...you know...see what happens.

Jeff, who once equipped a fish tank with network connectivity, would like to promote www.nobodyspants.com : A great name for a now-defunct web design company, and an awesome idea...but hopefully the future site of the funniest site in internet history!!!!!

Jeff, who was playing mp3 files in his car WAY before it was cool or commercially viable, SSH's into his BSD server from his cell phone...and issues commands via handwriting recognition.

	Chasuk Real Name:  Chas Age:  44 Resides:  Idaho Occupation:  Student

Favorite website(s):
Metafilter , Slashdot

Favorite book, movie, or TV show:
My Name is Asher Lev,  Blade Runner,  Firefly.

Favorite game, application, or program of all time:
Zork I.

What are you playing and working on right now:
World of Warcraft

What is your current screensaver, background, or wallpaper:
Jennifer Garner

What's so special about your computer room:
IMac, Linux, and WinXP Pro on three different machines in the same room.

How many computers do you have:
See above.

What was your first computer:
TI99/4A

Do you remember the first program you ran on it (or the first game you played):
Chess.

Geekiest moment of your life:
Getting involved in near fisticuffs over Star Wars versus Star Trek dispute.  (Top Geek: Well who hasn't?!!!)

When did you first realize you were a geek:
In elementary school.

Have you ever said anything geeky that someone else did not understand:
Of course!

What is the funniest/most bizarre computer/Internet/geeky experience you have ever had:
Meeting a young lady with whom I had cybered for ages, and realizing, to my pleasant surprise, that she really WAS a woman!

What is your favourite quote:
"Chance is a word invented by man to express the known effects of all unknown causes."  - Voltaire

If you were a computer program, you would be: why:
A word processor, because I love to write.

What do you do when you are (heaven forbid) not at your computer(s):
Watch independent films, read, debate pointless topics.

You have a time machine that can only be used once. If you use it you will not come back. What date would you set it to, and what ONE thing would you take with you (not a computer):
I would return to my 18-year old self, who had just dropped out of High School, with photographic/multimedia proof that dropping out was a dumb idea.

Chas, who works for a great company at www.turbonet.com, is a Sci-fi fan, programmer, and former BBS operator. Chas, who used to think that a 1200 baud modem would be "more than anyone would ever need", once had so much trouble finishing a text adventure that he needed to buy a solution book for his solution book.

	David Real Name:  David Age:  26 Resides:  Idaho Occupation:  Resident Linux Desktop God at a manufacturing company by day, part-time sysad for hire by night.

Favorite website(s):
www.bloglines.com (cheating, I know), /. (been reading since it was hosted on an alpha, now I just skim the headlines), and (cheating again) the 30-odd online comics I read.

Favorite book, movie, or TV show:
I'm a huge fan of the "Discworld" series, the LOTR (both books and movies) almost goes without saying, "The Daily Show", anything by Joss Whedon, and anything by Kurosawa (though Ikiru is probably my all-time favorite of his).

Favorite game, application, or program of all time:
vim.  Not to start a flamewar or anything, it's just obvious that vim is superior.  I mean, look at the high profile geeks who use (x)emacs: JWZ and Stallman, right?  Now, who are the high profile geeks with serious hand and wrist problems?  JWZ and Stallman!  Too many long nights hitting escape-meta-alt-ctrl...

What are you playing and working on right now:
Trying to sell my house.  Anyone want to buy it? I'll throw in some cat5 for free...

What is your current screensaver, background, or wallpaper:
I currently have the default KDE wallpaper set.  I recently reset my ~/.kde, and haven't gotten around to doing anything about that.  However, I normally have something from digitalblasphemy.com (I've been a member for four years now).

What's so special about your computer room:
It's 1/2 of a smallish walk-in closet (I can touch all four walls without straightening my arms).  Yet I still fit in two computers, a large monitor, desk, full bookshelf, 'executive' chain, 5.1 speakers, and various networking bits (dsl modem, switch, etc).

How many computers do you have:
4. An old G3 PowerMac, a colored fish-bowl G3 iMac, a 2.4Ghz PIV (for my  server), and a PII 400Mhz for the kids.

What was your first computer:
A C64, way back in '83 (or '84?).  About a year later, we got an 8088 with a monochrome screen.  For some reason, us kids kept playing with the 64...

Do you remember the first program you ran on it (or the first game you played):
I don't, actually.  But I can tell you our *favorite* game: Alice In Wonderland!  It took us literally *years* to finally beat that game.  In fact, we went through multiple C64s before we ever completed the game.  It was the only video game that my mother would actively play with us.  We spent a lot of time, huddled around the screen, trying to figure out what to do next.  See?  Gaming was social event even *before* MMORGs!  As long as you define 'social' as 'consisting entirely of your own family members'.

Geekiest moment of your life:
When I was showing someone how nice and intuitive bash is for new users, and unthinkingly typed something like: !gr $! | !!  At first, I didn't get why he was laughing...

When did you first realize you were a geek:
It may have been when I was sitting under a tree in elementary school, trying to read a book while some other kids were using straws to blow pins at me. Or it may have been when I took the motorcycle (because the clothes wouldn't fit me! *rimshot*).

Have you ever said anything geeky that someone else did not understand:
If you ask my wife, I hardly ever *stop* doing that.  However, I think one of the worst examples was a voice-mail that I was leaving myself, which my wife happened to overhear: "Hey, check smtp-auth, imap, and pop3 on s1. Also, nagios isn't ACKing, check iptables."  She made fun of my geek-speak for a while after that.

What is the funniest/most bizarre computer/Internet/geeky experience you have ever had:
Well, the first time I 'fixed' someone's broken computer by turning it on  (the screen is blank! it's broken! aaaahhhhh!), I thought it was hilarious. The last ten times I've had to hit the power button for someone, though,  it's lost it's savor.

What is your favourite quote:
There are two kinds of fool. One says,"This is old, and therefore good." And one says, "This is new, and therefore better." - Anon

If you were a computer program, you would be: why:
Bloated. Because I'm in serious need of some diet and exercise...

What do you do when you are (heaven forbid) not at your computer(s):
Lately?  Try and make my house look like it's worth more than it really is. Normally, I lay around reading and watching a lot of t.v. (see answer to 'if you were a computer program...".  Of course, the t.v. I watch is almost all being displayed by a computer onto my television, so I don't know if that counts in the context of the question.

You have a time machine that can only be used once. If you use it you will not come back. What date would you set it to, and what ONE thing would you take with you (not a computer):
Ten years into the future, and a folder full of as many Google stock certificates as I could afford.

David, whose only on-line presence is at http://www.gnuconsulting.com/blog/, (which is very aptly titled), is a very good system administrator, and a very poor programmer. David is searching for that one perfect programming language that will allow him to just will programs into existence, without logic errors, horrendously bad algorithms, and good UIs.

If David was to be given a platform to promote something, he would probably promote his favorite overlooked webcomics, like Narbonic, Digger, or Count Your Sheep.

	Jimmy Real Name:  James Age:  Alive for 5 years before Windows got a GUI Resides:  My very own room (in my parents' house in a New York suburb) Occupation:  Mild-Mannered Software Developer by day, Friends and Family's Tech Wonder-Boy by night.

Favorite website(s):
anandtech.com, mediamatters.org, sweetjesusihatebilloreilly.com

Favorite book, movie, or TV show:
Battlestar Galactica (the new sci-fi channel series). Also that MTV series where the fat kid does stuff.

Favorite game, application, or program of all time:
Logo. To this day there is no better tool for introducing kids to programming concepts.

What are you playing and working on right now:
World of Warcraft (as Ghoste, a 60 Troll Rogue on Feathermoon), a free auto-rotating South Park episode downloads site, a tuna sandwich.

What is your current screensaver, background, or wallpaper:
The purple-tinted female night elf druid wallpaper from worldofwarcraft.com. Meow!

What's so special about your computer room:
I "borrowed" my parents' large wooden carving board to raise my computer off the carpet.

How many computers do you have:
3.75 What types: Dell 420SC Fedora Linux server, Custom Antec P180 4400+ 6800GT, Acer Extensa 386d Pentium 233 mhz laptop (with MMX!!!), and about 75% of the parts I'd need to make another computer or two.

What was your first computer:
Apple IIe ($2000!)

Do you remember the first program you ran on it (or the first game you played):
Loderunner, baby.

Geekiest moment of your life:
When I was 14, I spent many hours being fascinated at how if I held down the receiver latch on an old phone just the right way, I could hear some random radio broadcast.

When did you first realize you were a geek:
When in fifth grade my friends and I hacked into our teacher's OS/2 account just to enable better edutainment software on our own accounts. Or maybe before then when I couldn't read and thus couldn't play King's Quest I, so I would turn the game on and leave it running, then hide in the bathroom and hope someone else would walk by and start playing so I could watch.

Have you ever said anything geeky that someone else did not understand:
I often risk my usual image as a sane, insightful person by making obscure prime-time cartoon show references among people whom I know don't even watch those shows. 

What is the funniest/most bizarre computer/Internet/geeky experience you have ever had:
While working at my college's computer help desk, I fixed a seemingly unfixable problem for a cute girl who had come to the desk.  She said, "Thank you so much! You saved my thesis! If I knew you better I'd kiss you!"  I guess she wouldn't have enjoyed it much, though, since she even didn't remember that we HAD kissed a quite a bit one night two years ago when I was a freshman. 

What is your favourite quote:
"May we strive to be the people our dogs think we are."

If you were a computer program, you would be: why:
Minimizable to the system tray. why: I hate those programs that aren't.

What do you do when you are (heaven forbid) not at your computer(s):
Walk the mall with my (science geek) girlfriend, toss a frisbee, repair other people's computers, play tug with my sister's dog.

You have a time machine that can only be used once. If you use it you will not come back. What date would you set it to, and what ONE thing would you take with you (not a computer):
Larry Page's and Sergey Brin's grad school housing in 1995; I'd bring a pizza to break the ice.

James, who points you in the direciton of http://dailybuzz.net, once wrote an entire web application to read Star Wars Galaxies resource spawn data, calculate the best available combinations for making Doctor buffs, and display them with an intuitive color-coded customizable user interface, and he even kept it up after they changed the game mechanics to make buffs worthless.

James, as a kid, used to bring in his tiny Casio keyboard to kindergarten, set it to "loud", and press the Tiger / Lasergun sound effects buttons while chasing girls around the playground.