Did you ever notice the following strange things about computers in movies . . .
- Word processors never display a cursor.
- You never have to use the space-bar when typing long sentences.
- All monitors display inch-high letters.
- High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some
such governmental institution, will have easy-to-understand graphical
interfaces.
- Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command
shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in
plain English.
- Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
- Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." (See "Fortress")
- All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.
- Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the
screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen
so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced
ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer.
- All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just
underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a
puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you
backward.
- People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.
- A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.
- Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function. (See "Demolition Man" and countless others)
- Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be
accomplished in under three seconds. Movie modems transmit data at a
speed of two gigabytes per second.
- When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.
- If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file,
it also disappears from the screen. (e.g., "Clear and Present Danger")
- If a disk has encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you try to access it.
- No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by
any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all
computer platforms.
- The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has
("Aliens"). However, everyone must have been highly trained, because
the buttons aren't labeled.
- Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying
three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics
capability.
- Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing
real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY Y-MP.
- Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face. (See "Alien," "2001")
- Computers also never experience crashes -- especially during key, high-intensity scenes.
- The most complicated computer programs are created, debugged and
run about as fast as the explaination to the audience of what is
happening.
- Occasionally, virual code will just flood the screen, just so the
programmer can tell that the computer is infected, and by what.
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