|
You Know You're An Internet Addict When |
|
 You Know You're An Internet Addict When:
- You spend more time on your girlfriend's home page than with your girlfriend.
- You didn't know that Firefox was also a movie starring Clint Eastwood.
- Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to scroll from top to bottom.
- There's a permanent ass-groove in your computer chair, but you haven't noticed.
- You've said "no" to sex in order to view Internet porn.
- You've rationalized installing a mini-fridge, microwave, and port-a-potty at your workstation.
- You go shopping every week, but you've never been inside a mall.
- You don't believe anything you read in a newspaper unless you verify it on a news site.
- You think that 404 is the number of the beast.
- You refuse to go outside because of the sun: "it burns! IT BURNS!!"
- Your eyeglasses have a web site burned in on them.
- You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com
- You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. And you have an ethernet connection right next to the toilet paper.
- You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue when it happened.
- You crank up your surround-sound whenever leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives.
- All of your friends have an @ in their names.
- When looking at a pageful of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple.
- You've already visited all the links at Yahoo and you're halfway through Lycos.
- You can't call your mother...she doesn't have IRC, ICQ, or Instant Messaging.
- You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
- You have commandeered your teenager's phone line for a secondary net connection in case your ADSL goes down, and even his friends know not to call on his line anymore.
- Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
- You code your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL.
- You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have gender-neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
- You name your children Eudora, Mozilla and Dotcom.
- Your husband tells you he's had the beard for 2 months.
- You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.
- You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html
- You actually try that 123.elm.street address.
- You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" and you don't even have a job.
- Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed.". So you file for a divorce...online.
- You are so familiar with the WWW that you find the search engines useless.
- You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with Internet Explorer 5.0 or higher."
- You forget what year it is.
- You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
- You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month "unlimited."
- You turn on your computer and turn off your wife.
- Your wife says communication is important in a marriage...so you
buy another computer and add her to the network so the two of you
can chat.
- You refuse to go on vacation where there's no electricity, phone lines, or hotspots.
- You finally do take that vacation, but only after buying a data-enabled cel-phone, and a wi-fi PDA.
- You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
|
