Great Teacher Largo Real Name:  Carl Age:  Not yet old enough to start weeping when I see a statue of Alexander the Great. Resides:  Gainesville, Florida Occupation:  Second Emperor of the United States of America and  Discordian Zen-Buddhist.

Favorite website(s):
bobandgeorge.com, nuklearpower.com, penny-arcade.com, megatokyo.com, somethingpositive.net, slashdot.org, and my own sites.

Favorite book, movie, or TV show:
Favorite Book is Currently 'A Short History of Nearly Everything' by Bill Bryson.  Movie is The Last Samurai, and TV Show is .hack//SIGN.

Favorite game, application, or program of all time:
Zork -- The Frobozz Magic Co., Ltd. totally owns me and puts me to work in the Granola Mines every day.

What are you playing and working on right now:
Currently working on design for a 2D Graphical MUD.

What is your current screensaver, background, or wallpaper:
This one -- http://cevk.com/images/perverse.jpg

What's so special about your computer room:
When we turn all the computers on, we don't have to use central heating! 

How many computers do you have:
I have an AMD box running Windows XP, another AMD box running NetBSD.  I also have an Apple IIci somewhere in here.  Without it being hooked up to the Home Network it's so hard to locate.

What was your first computer:
Tandy 1000 with a 300 Baud Modem. 

Do you remember the first program you ran on it:
Zork.  I was eaten by a Grue, and since then I have always carried a large supply of Illuminite with me wherever I go.

Geekiest moment of your life:
At GenCon Indy one year, while playing a game of Capture the Flag across several blocks of downtown Indianapolis, while I was sitting in the other team's jail, the guy who owns GenCon, Peter Adkison, and said, "I've got a blank spot on my character record sheet for my diety, and I was wondering if you were accepting worshippers?"  He laughed and said he was just a gamer who rolled a few 20s.

When did you first realize you were a geek:
When I wore a Star Trek Deep Space Nine Uniform with Captain's Pips to school in the 6th Grade.

Have you ever said anything geeky that someone else did not understand:
I remember one time when I was about 15 or so I tried to explain what I understood of Super String theory to my mother after she noticed me reading a book on it and asked what it was about.  She stood there, smiling and nodding, and after five minutes said, "That's nice, dear.  Now go wash your hands for dinner."

What is the funniest/most bizarre computer/Internet/geeky experience you have ever had:
My roommate and a former co-worker once got me insanely drunk and I thought I was Link from Legend of Zelda,  I went so far as to run upstairs and grab a fiberglass-cored foam boffer sword to attack a tree because it was taunting me.

What is your favourite quote:
"Nothing is True -- Everything is Permissible"

If you were a computer program, you would be: why:
Apache why: Bringing Knowledge to the Masses is one of the Greatest Things one can Do.

What do you do when you are (heaven forbid) not at your computer(s):
Read, Play DDR, watch Futurama or various Animes.

You have a time machine that can only be used once. If you use it you will not come back. What date would you set it to, and what ONE thing would you take with you (not a computer):
The time when the Pre-Socratic greek philosophers were around, namely Parmenides of Elea and Pythagoras, though to which particular century, 5th or 6th BC, I'd go to... well, I'd have to toss a coin.

Carl, who has an odd urge to shout, "IA!  IA!  CTHULHU FHTAGN!" at random strangers, is a passable C programmer learning C++ and Java (he's half written a few MUDs). Carl has about three years of experience fighting with various Medieval Weapons (Sword and Shield, Mace, Axe, Spear, Halberd, Long Sword/Short Sword, Shortsword/Shortsword), and he spends far too much time investigating and learning about Religion and Insanity (and Liminality, his favourite obsession) than is good for a normal human.

Carl has a website, cevk.com, which is his virtual home.  He also runs principiadiscordia.org, a site on Discordianism, the Religion based around the worship of Eris, Greek Goddess of Chaos and Confusion.