An Introduction to Things Everyone Has Seen Before

...Tiger will also purchase GM's fleet of 5 private jets. This will allow Woods and his wife Elin to have his and hers private jets. He will also use one of the jets as a backup for his current private jet. Another jet will be reserved for GM executives to meet Tiger when they need his signature on expense reports, etc. One jet will go to Tiger's long-time caddy, Steve Williams, who will use it to transport Tiger's equipment from hole to hole during PGA events. The fifth jet will be used for parts to maintain the other jets. All of the jets will be equipped with GM's proprietary OnStar system which can used to find a nearby golf pro shop to or unlock any of the jets if the keys are inadvertently locked inside.

The New York Giants have been able to overcome a myriad of distractions this season, thanks in no small part to the steady hand of quarterback Eli Manning. But it is now Manning himself who has provided the latest distraction after accidentally shooting himself in the thigh last night at a Manhattan nightspot.

Bill O'Reilly, conservative host of the "O'Reilly Factor" on Fox News, recently lashed out against the 1964 Beach Boys Classic, "Fun, Fun, Fun," for promoting an anti-authority message.

Butte Montana has a solid handful of things going for it. Not the least of which is that an easy majority of the buildings in town are built out of brick, which is odd all by itself, though odder still, you won’t find a brick museum.

A CAP News survey found that 1 in 16.5 Americans is hoarding supplies with the hope of using those items to barter with the other 15.5 people.

In an attempt to secure the popular vote at the bi-millennial celestial election, deities of all major religious faiths have been attempting to court the vote of Agnostics who may still be undecided...

Britain's biggest bankers have now so little to do they bonk each other all day until it's time to go home.

'wind then scattered leaves again'

Wonder if he also buys cat food for dog Barney.

Neanderthals meeting with ...Neanderthals?

theVoiceofReason.com has decided that this year's seasonal appeal will be to help the increasingly hard up Masters of the Universe who have fallen upon hard times for no fault of their own, some in the US car industry even having to offer to work for a dollar a year to keep their jobs in this time of credit famine.

Thousands of couples whose inability to bear children together has left a gaping void in their lives set out across the country today on a nationwide scavenger hunt organized by the federal government.

"Plaxico is one of our most accomplished scholars!" said CHU Founder Chris Henry. "Students at CHU are taught that gun play is a vital step toward graduation. I set a high standard in 2005 when I waved an illegal firearm around in a club while wearing my own NFL jersey but Plaxico raised the bar dramatically buy shooting himself."

What if they all had to drive together?

The banks are doing it, the automakers are doing it, so why shouldn't Internet Super-site Smooth Operator do it too?

Iranians planning 'something memorable'

Take the quiz and find out.

Studio 8's founder, Chris Trew, recently released a nerdcore rap album entitled "Terp 2 It: My Wiener Touches the Ceiling". This is a video for one of the songs on that album, "O". There's too much happening in the song to explain here. You have to see and hear it for yourself.

The Alaska governor is plannig a holiday tour that includes a reading of "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer" at a venison processing plant in Wasilla.

The poor economy is beginning to make more and more of an impact on the sports world. Just days after General Motors ended its relationship with Tiger Woods a year early, baseball instructional guru Tom Emanski has announced he is ending his 17-year relationship with Fred McGriff.
“In this bad economy, I can no longer afford the mesh and foam hats that we pay to Fred,” said Emanski. “The cost of foam brims has gone through the roof.”

Lawyers for Apple Corporation today served papers beginning legal action against the Government of Iraq over the use of the iRaq trademark...

If you’re ever taking the time to wander the mainest of main drag in the sleepy town of Deer Lodge, Montana, and you’re looking for another (not so) quick thing to occupy your juniors, it would seem that fate has taken the time to smile all over you, whatever it that means.

In a stunning revelation, the arresting officer during the Nittany Lion’s recent DUI stop accused the beloved lion of miming racial epithets about Jewish influence in the Bowl Championship Series (BCS) rankings and signing slurs about coach Joe Paterno.

It's the number of years before it'll be released.

'Rufus has developed an interest in masturbation'

President-elect Barack Obama insists the White House responsibilities of his daughters will include firmly informing staff members when something isn't to their liking.

On the same week the Pittsburgh Pirates signed two 20-year-old Indian men who competed in a reality TV show, the organization now is hoping to sign a prospect said to be infallible and possessing as many as 14 arms.
“We have had 16 losing seasons in a row,” said general manager Neil Huntigton. “We must look everywhere for talent and we must be open to those with birth defects, too.”

Is Mr. Hardball just getting ready for his Senate run?

Facing several years in jail and a premature end to his season and his career with the Giants, wide receiver Plaxico Burress comes to the realization that shooting himself was not one of his brighter moments.

There is no good explanation for this video. If anyone has any information about it, please help.

A group of psychologists and astronomers working from the same grant drew their conclusion by delving into updated astronomical and behavioral data.

Top Judge Accused of Giving Lenient Sentences in Exchange for Sexual Favours! Britain's Judiciary Rocked by Newspaper's Claims of Corruption and Sexual Deviancy

Other regrettable aftermaths resulting from car accidents include spilled coffee and smudged make-up. In one particularly unfortunate case a driver cleaning his handgun was killed when the weapon discharged due to a high speed collision.

Small northern England town of Huddlesfield has been overwhelmed by influx of curious.

f you find yourself short on gas or long on appetite and don’t know which town you’re about to pull in to, you just might be heading into Three Forks, Montana.

Four police officers, accompanied by five community support constables, some as young as 14, were involved in the arrest of Damian Green in Westminster, we can now report.

Following a painful separation from the United States Constitution, the Founding fathers have been granted legal permission to visit their only daughter, America, on weekends...